try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
