I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
