you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
