"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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