her vagine was all disorganized.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
