my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
