Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
