I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
