My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
