I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
