he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
