she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
