he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
