He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
