i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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