I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
