sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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