your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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