No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
