No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
not ubering you a puppy
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
