I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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