oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize