It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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