apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
