Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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