Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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