His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
