I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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