So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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