You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
God, I missed his penis.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
