so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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