I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
