If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
