The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
