Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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