Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
