Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
