Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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