Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
