Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize