You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
