what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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