A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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