It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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