How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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