So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
birth control should be required to get into college
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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