I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
