roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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