the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
