She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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